A Conscious Choice

Last weekend I spent a large amount of time reading.  I read the book Divergent by Veronica Roth, a young adult dystopian novel.  It's a book that many of my students are reading.  And the fact that I spent so much time reading this book this weekend... well I'm hoping that my being a reading teacher is a valid excuse for putting off so much other work.

If you haven't read the book, here's what you need to know for the rest of the post:

What used to be Chicago is now a shadow of what it once was.  A society split into 5 factions, each with a focus on the cultivation of a particular virture: selflessness, intelligence, bravery, peaceful, honesty.  All sixteen-year-olds, after taking an aptitude test, must choose which faction they will live out the rest of their lives in.  But there are some who are Divergent.  Their minds move in different directions, they can't be confined to thinking in just one way. 

I sit, reading this book and thinking about where I would fit in.  A question that I find I am asking myself a lot lately.  Where do I fit in?  Who am I?  What are my passions?  What are my gifts?  What virtues do I value most? 

How do we figure that out?  I could go to Oprah's website, I'm sure and find a dozen quizzes or articles about finding one's passions in life.  I could look back on the card I carry in my wallet of spiritual gifts from a survey I did with the youth group I lead a few years back.  I can sit and think about what I like to do, who I like to spend time with... but that is hard for me.

I had taken the quiz at the end of Divergent for fun.  Just to see.  It placed me in Erudite and Abnegation.  Knowledge and Selflessness.  My spiritual gifts are: context, connectedness, harmony, discipline and input.  I can sit and try to think of what I like to do best...

But I'm making a conscious choice to try and start figuring it out.  Where do I fit in?  What are my gifts?  What am I good at?  Why am I here and where am I going?

Have you made any conscious choices about self-discovery lately?